Scottish Stories – Sunshine + Rain, Laughter + Tears

Sunshine Rain-5Typical Scottish April weather we’ve been having here. Maybe a wee bit nippier than usual.

There’s sunshine when it’s raining, then lowering grey skies, then wee blue patches. Always changeable, very breezy.

You need to be prepared for all possibilities, and go nowhere without a waterproof, a hat, scarf and gloves.

Life’s like that too, isn’t it?  Changeable.

You need to be prepared, you need warm clothes to hug around yourself.

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Visiting family from our adopted country half a world away is always emotional. Leaving has been very hard, very painful, thee last few times.

Farewelling much-loved family is one of the few things that certainly doesn’t come easier with age.

It’s been getting harder and harder.

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My emotions feel like velcro, and part of me has to be ripped away when we leave to return to home in Sydney.

And honest to God, I don’t mind getting older myself, but I’m really not happy about the old folks here getting older.

I so regret leaving the beloved oldies; my aunts and uncles and our in-law great granny and the grandparents on both sides.

And the wee ones too, the nieces and nephews, the cousins’ children… and this is all without even talking about friends.

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I’ve come and gone from Scotland since I was 18 years old, and have lived in Sydney permanently for the past almost 16 years.

These days, all the family dysfunction that I had to get away from… It’s all gone. There’s no more. And that’s changed how I feel about coming back and then leaving. There’s no relief to get away any more. Just sadness.

On the upside, we’ve been reassured that my Mum has recovered well from some ill health early in the year. And we’ve seen her lovely new house, seen her garden which is poised to flourish.  That’s been wonderful.

Other relatives are unwell, and it feels very, very wrong to be leaving them.

And my dear brother. As we get older I feel worse and worse about not being a regular part of his life. I would really love to see him more and be any help that I can. Would love to hear him play his guitar more.

Alastair is well cared for these days, he’s safe and as well as a man can be who has such severe schizophrenia. It’s all wrong to leave him.

So being here has been all sunshine and rain, just like the weather. And leaving will be so rough.

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A bloke said to me recently: ‘Aye, summer’s coming; the rain’s getting warmer.’

Which still doesn’t mean that I don’t want to go. In fact, I’m desperate to see Teen16 and wee Rusty Rocket. And to be home in Sydney.

These two and a bit weeks have felt like a much, much longer time, in fact. It had been too long and it won’t be so long again.

Haste ye back, as the Scottish farewell goes.

Think of us on Saturday night and Sunday as we fly the long miles back home.

I’ll be the one sobbing, the kids will be handing me hankies.

See you back in Sydney.

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Other Scottish Stories from April 2013 are:

The Knitting Knapper Strikes Again

At Yellowcraig Beach Today

On Friendships Old + New

A Muddy Walk To See The Lambs

 

Vicks VapoRub

Who loves the smell of Vicks?! Read about how Vicks saved the day for us recently right here.

 
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Posted on: May 3, 2013

14 Comments

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Becc

    I just wrote a really long, wordy comment, but for some reason it was rejected πŸ™
    The main part I remember was after advising that I can relate in a different way, was to say cry lots, but make most of them tears of joy πŸ™‚
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Lydia C. Lee

    Enjoy your trip and hope the flight home runs smoothly (tho sadly)

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Desire Empire

    Heart felt Seana. Such a difficult thing having a foot in both camps, but how wonderful that you no longer need to run from the dysfunction…..Something to be very grateful for.
    Carolyn

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Amanda

    Safe travels Seana. I can’t imagine how hard your farewells are. πŸ™

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Talia

    Ah yes, the divide and wondering where you belong! I’m sure you wish Scotland and Sydney were a LOT closer together!! This is how we feel about Israel – if only we could go for a weekend, or for important celebrations, and not have the 24+ hour transit time (not to mention expense!!).

    I hope your trip home goes well, and that you don’t miss your family in Scotland TOO much. Are you able to keep in touch with them online?

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Aroha

    It is the pits having family on the other side of the world – I lived on the opposite side to mine for 11 years. I love being back here with them now, but that means my husband’s family are on the other side of the world. πŸ™ It’s sometimes very hard to know where you should be, and I guess the answer is – where your heart is. Hope you get to return sooner rather than later xo Aroha

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Lisa Wood

    Safe travels back to Sydney, and yeah I think as we grow older we realise how important family is to us πŸ™‚
    Its may not be easy but returning to Scotland another time will be so worth it, and gorgeous Sydney is waiting.

  • Reply May 3, 2013

    Robyn (Mrs D)

    Oh Seana, I will be sending you a virtual hug for Saturday. I have no words as I totally feel your pain. We do what is best for our little families but it never makes leaving the rest behind any easier at all. Lots of love xx

  • What a trip. I loved Scotland who I visited many years ago. It is hard when you are so far away. Australia is just not close to anything xx

  • Reply May 4, 2013

    Hotly Spiced

    Oh, this is such a sad post, especially with the image of the rain coming down the window pane. I can imagine it would be very hard to leave, especially when there’s such a great distance between Scotland and Australia. I do hope that in the coming years you have the opportunity to return often. Quite a funny comment from that chap who believes summer is on the way because the rain water is becoming warmer! He’d be shocked if he knew how we complain about our weather which to him would be paradise xx

  • Reply May 4, 2013

    Gourmet Getaways

    I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be torn between two homes. πŸ™

  • Reply May 5, 2013

    Grace

    Ah, Seana! Big hugs, my friend! I know how hard it is to see everyone get older. It was one of the main reasons I decided to come back after almost a decade in Japan.
    But home will always be there for you.
    Even more so now that all that craziness, dysfunctional family stuff is gone (I think it dissipates with old age).
    Big, big hugs and safe travels home.

  • Love this photo and stories. I miss the seasons in England but not winter πŸ™‚

    It is sad leaving people behind, esp the old ones. Hope the journey goes well and you will soon be happily reunited with your young family and super Sydney.

    xoxo A

  • Reply May 8, 2013

    Gill

    I’m a fellow Scot and I completely relate to this one. Goodbyes just get harder, and sadly, each time I visit, there’s less people to say goodbye too πŸ™

    I believe that the life a migrant chooses is forever lived in limbo, stuck between two worlds, each of which is loved, and each of which is missed when not there.

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