Which wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.
The children all went off to school joyfully, into Years 10, 8 and 1 respectively.
The house was deadly quiet but the piles of things to do were deadly high.
I sat down at my desk and looked at the long-ignored emails, bills, letters, cards, jury summons, insurance renewals, Visa bills, lists of things to do for No.1 son, speech therapy recommendations for two boys, notes from schools x four kids.
Heart was palpitating, chest was heaving with unsobbed sobs.
I’ve never had a panic attack in my life, but I think the start of them might feel just like that.
And the stupid thing is… none of it is really important at all.
Nothing is vital. Lives will not be lost, cancer will remain uncured.
So I just had to STOP. Go slow. NOT look at the big picture. Just chip away at the piles and lists. One email at a time. One bill at a time.
And breathe… and drink cups of tea… and take some exercise.
Enjoy the peace and the solitude after eight weeks of kids and chaos. Whilst missing it.
There are three big emotional things happening in our family and in my own personal life just now.
Some of my lovely friends are getting heaps of phone calls and the phone is running hot between Sydney and my sisters and mum in Scotland too.
I love my friends who have trained with Lifeline and worked for Parentline. They’re experts!
Some dismantling may need to be done, some changes made to allow more space and time.
This is the fourth weekend without our Intn’l Man of Mystery, he flies home a week today.
In the last week of his trips away we all tend to fall apart a bit. Hopefully bethany au pair can keep her cool and help us all hang together.
Walk slowly, talk slowly, say ‘no’ to almost everything, eat well, try to sleep.
I know this routine. And here we go again.
Have you panicked this week?
Do you have a ‘panic, don’t panic’ routine?
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